Yoga Beneath the Surface: A Memoir of My Becoming... Like a drifting iceberg — the part you see is small, but what lies beneath is what keeps it steady.
- mamazurek1
- Apr 3
- 5 min read
What Yoga Really Is
When most people think of yoga, they picture movement — poses, flexibility, balance.
But that’s only the surface.
The real practice of yoga lives underneath. In your choices. In your reactions. In the way you speak to yourself and show up in the world.
It’s subtle. Invisible. But it shapes everything.
Like an iceberg — what’s beneath the surface is what creates stability.
My Journey of Becoming
My story, in many ways, has been about learning to trust what lives beneath the surface.
I’m a 36-year-old woman who left Poland in 2012. Not because something was missing, but because something inside me was calling for more.
Even before that, at 19, I travelled to America with friends — a summer that shifted everything. It opened my eyes to possibility, to freedom, to a life that wasn’t defined by one path.
I later graduated with a degree in Economics in Kraków. On paper, everything made sense. But inside, I felt a quiet resistance.
I couldn’t see myself in a corporate career. It felt restrictive, disconnected from the life I wanted to experience.
I didn’t want to just plan life — I wanted to live it.
So I moved to the UK with my best friend, following curiosity rather than certainty.
Learning Through Life, Not Titles
My path since then has been anything but linear.
I’ve worked in restaurants, in care homes, in retail, in insurance, supporting the elderly, and in early years education.
Each role taught me something different. But one thread stayed constant:
Human connection.
Working in care homes, especially, changed me deeply. I witnessed people in their most vulnerable moments. I saw life gently fading, day by day.
It showed me how precious and fragile life is — and how important it is to truly see one another. Over time, I realised something else too:
I had an ability to adapt. To step into new environments, meet people where they are, and connect without judgement. That became my quiet strength.
Old Patterns I Had to Face
For a long time, I thought happiness looked like having more.
I remember working long, exhausting hours in restaurants — pushing myself just so I could afford branded clothes, one big holiday, something to show.
To look like I was living a “high life.”
I would spend my savings on those moments.And yet, often on the last night of the holiday, I would feel it…
That quiet heaviness. That inner voice asking: Is this really it?
Not wanting to go back. Not wanting to fall into the same cycle — work, spend, escape, repeat.
At the same time, I was repeating another pattern — in relationships.
Relationship after relationship, people pleasing, afraid to speak up when something didn’t feel right.
Afraid that if I did, I would lose the person. Or be rejected.
There was a deep feeling of not being enough. Of needing to prove myself. To entertain, to give more, to be okay with things that didn’t truly feel aligned.
So I stayed quiet. And carried it inside.
That was another pattern I had to face.
And like all patterns — it didn’t disappear overnight.
Some of it still creeps in.
Impulse buying. Old emotional habits. Moments of doubt.
I’m not perfect. Not even close.
But now… I can see it.
And that awareness is where change begins.
Little by little, I am learning to choose differently. To speak. To pause. To honour myself.
To be more myself.
Redefining Success
What also changed… is how I measure success.
Not in my bank account. Not in followers or likes.
But in transformation.
In real human connection. In being chosen as someone others trust.
In those quiet, powerful moments of awe —when you truly feel life, presence, and yourself.
In self-awareness. In understanding who you are becoming.
And also… in the practice.
Getting stronger. Healthier.
More connected to your body.
Not from fixation on weight or appearance —but from honesty, patience, and showing up.
Because when you give it time, when you practise consistently, and when you are truly honest with yourself…
The change happens.
Naturally. Steadily. Deeply.
Motherhood: A Deeper Layer
In 2020, I became a mother.
And with that, another layer of depth opened.
Motherhood didn’t just teach me how to care for my child —it showed me how I had been experiencing love my entire life.
I began to notice my patterns. The ways I gave love. The ways I expected it in return. The moments where I was still trying to please others while neglecting myself.
It wasn’t always easy to see.
But slowly, something shifted.
I started learning how to love myself without conditions. Without waiting for validation. Without blaming others for what I hadn’t yet given to myself.
I began to set boundaries — not as walls, but as acts of care.
And as a mother, I now focus on raising my son with emotional awareness, resilience, and the freedom to express who he truly is.
Even if that doesn’t always fit into expectations.
Yoga as a Way of Living
Through all these phases of life, yoga was always present.
Not always loudly. Not always perfectly.
But steadily.
In 2022, I decided to follow that path more intentionally and began my yoga teacher training.
Because I realised yoga wasn’t just something I practised.
It was something I was already living.
Yoga, for me, became the space where everything comes together:
Deep listening
Presence
Self-reflection
Human connection
Growth through awareness
It gave structure to what I had been experiencing internally for years.
The Foundation: The Yamas
At the root of yoga philosophy are the Yamas — ethical principles that guide how we live and relate to the world.
They are not about perfection. They are about awareness.
Ahimsa (Non-violence): Choosing kindness, especially toward yourself
Satya (Truthfulness): Living in alignment with what is real and honest
Asteya (Non-stealing): Letting go of comparison and lack
Brahmacharya (Moderation): Being mindful of your energy and where you place it
Aparigraha (Non-attachment): Releasing control and expectations
These are not things you perform. They are things you practise quietly, daily, beneath the surface.
Still Becoming
My journey hasn’t been smooth or perfectly planned.
It has been shaped by change, uncertainty, growth, and reflection.
But through it all, there has been a steady unfolding.
A becoming.
Like an iceberg drifting through ever-changing waters —it’s not the visible part that keeps it grounded.
It’s the depth beneath.
And that is where my practice lives.
Still learning. Still evolving. Still becoming.
A Gentle Truth
Is my life easy now? Do I have it all figured out?
Definitely not.
Life is still hard at times. Overwhelming. Challenging. Things still happen.
But what has changed… is my approach.
I am still me. The same person. But my actions — and the way I meet challenges — have changed.
I no longer try to control or prevent everything. I’m not afraid to speak up or ask for help. I can adapt. I can pause. I can breathe through the uncomfortable.
And that is exactly what my yoga and sound practice is here to support you with.
Not perfection. Not escape.
But the strength, awareness, and steadiness to move through life —whatever rises to the surface.
And You?
This is what underneath the surface of my iceberg?
What’s yours?
Maybe parts of my story feel familiar. Maybe some of those patterns are ones you’re still gently working through.
If so — you’re not alone.
I’d love to hear your reflections. 💬
Magdalena
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